The Gate Keeper

I thought that I might take a moment to give everyone a peek into a small part of my day. To illuminate it in a way that no one might have otherwise ever known. I sit across from the bathroom door. Every time a person leaves the bathroom, they think it’s a great idea to completely close the door instead of leaving it a small crack to signify that the bathroom has been vacated. So, as a result I am charged with the job of bathroom monitor. Every time someone needs to go, they walk up and ask me if anyone is in there.

Perhaps its true that I don’t have anything better to do then keep track of who the hell is in the bathroom, but still, its an annoying job. Wither there is someone in there or not, I always say the same thing, “I don’t think so.” My idea was that if I gave out inaccurate information, people would eventually stop asking me. Not so. They just get mad when it is inaccurate, but continue to ask the next time, as if this was the soul job that I get paid to do here. Perhaps, since what I say is accurate most of the time, they keep faith that I am sincerely trying to keep track of this information. I have to prove that my bathroom monitoring abilities are completely inadequate. I think the next step is to simply tell them the exact opposite of the truth. Then, when they need to go pee really bad, and the dam door is closed, and I say, yes, indeed there is someone in there, they will stair desperately at the closed door, wondering, is it true? They will think twice about closing it all the way when they leave. I could really torcher them and make them wait hours! Make them knock on the door! It will be social tourcher. The end of the bathroom door dilemma is coming near. I will train these fools. I will make them leave the door a crack!